


no matter the wait

by metamercy



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Cooking, Domestic, First Kiss, Flashback, Fluff, Ignoct New Years Gift Exchange, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 04:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17399879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metamercy/pseuds/metamercy
Summary: Noctis and Ignis take the weekend off to celebrate the prince's twentieth birthday. In a small ugly cabin on the Kettier Highland, tensions rise as Ignis cannot ignore the future prospect of Noctis's arranged marriage.





	no matter the wait

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nihlyria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihlyria/gifts).



> This piece was done for the Ignoct New Years Gift Exchange. I was assigned [Makou-Fluff](https://makou-fluff.tumblr.com/) on tumblr! They requested a private birthday celebration and cooking. I'm so sorry for the delay, and I hope you enjoy!

Ignis cannot deny that he is excited for what’s to come. After Noctis had told him that he had reserved his twentieth birthday weekend for the two of them, the blonde had been counting down the days since.

And here they are on the cusp of their vacation together, taking the Regalia down to a small cabin on the Kettier Highland. It was typical honeymoon spot-- a beautiful cabin overlooking the Disc, surrounded by lush grass and deep forests.

Noctis rented the place, told the other boys that they wouldn't be available, packed their things, and left his phone on his nightstand. He wanted to be “off the grid” for the weekend-- no important calls, just relaxation. Ignis couldn't have been happier. With Noctis's, eh, _responsibility_ looming on the horizon, Ignis was glad to see the man take a break.

King Regis had informed Noctis a little over a month ago that he is to marry Lady Lunafreya. The union would bond the kingdom of Tenebrae and Insomnia together, and aid in the fight against the empire due to the inevitable sheer rise in nationalism following the royal marriage. Though this meant little to Ignis because his beloved had turned into Lunafreya's betrothed.

Despite Ignis wanting to talk with Noctis about it, the two have avoided the subject narrowly since being informed, only referring to the event as the _responsibility_.

 _Changing the color of the lens doesn’t alter the image_ , Ignis thinks. He knows it is cynical and inappropriate, especially on their vacation, so he blinks away the thought and tightens his gloved grip on the wheel. Ignis was scared, truly, of losing Noct as his partner. Though he would never say that aloud.

"I should have eaten before we left,” Noct whines from the passenger seat. “Didn’t realize the drive was so long.” With the Regalia’s top down, his black hair shivers and straightens with the lick of the wind. In the light of the midday sun, the color almost pulls gray. Ignis graces himself with another glance at his prince before watching the road yet again.

“I’ll cook when we arrive, then, Noct?”

“No. I want to help this time,” Noct says. “Being ‘royalty’ doesn’t make me incapable of cooking.”

“But your lack of knowledge does,” Ignis teases. Noctis curls his lips up into a smirk.

“I'm glad you've always got my back, then, big brain.” Noctis crosses his arms and leans into the junction of the passenger door and the seat.

Ignis sighs, witnessing Noct close his eyes beside him.

 

* * *

 

The drive there is quiet enough that Noctis sleeps the whole way. Ignis listens to music in the car to distract himself from his thoughts, but the most negative ones linger in the background of his mind-- even upon arrival at the cabin.

After jostling Noctis awake, the two take their things inside the one room home.

The cabin’s decor is interesting, at best. The interior design looks like a visual argument between a grandmother and a beast hunter. The floors are a deep burgundy tinted hardwood, the backsplash in the kitchen is lilac mosaic tile, and the living room furniture is a faux coeurl pattern in black.

The bedroom was the worst, by far. Ignis marked a black duvet, coupled with lace lilac pillows, shaved anak stag antler lamps on both bedside tables, and a large garulessa horn mounted above the bed.

“Cozy,” Noct offers upon entry. He abandons his bags and sheds his shoes at the door to dive into the bed at the opposite end of the room, completely ruining the straightened sheets.

“You certainly aren’t tired after that monstrous nap in the car.” Ignis closes the door behind them and grins at Noct, who's face down in the bed. “I had to turn the radio up to combat your incessant snoring.” Ignis suppresses a bubbling laugh from his throat. He has always been a terrible liar, even for the sake of teasing.

Noct rises slightly and turns his head. “Lies; no way I snore. I'm a prince. And I'm not napping, I'm relaxing.” He buries his face back into the bedding and pats the space to his left, offering a muffled “join me.”

Ignis places one bag-- their groceries-- on the kitchen counter before approaching the bed. He sits, removes his shoes, and swings his legs on top of the crinkled duvet.

Noct offers a “hmph” and bars his arm along Ignis's stomach, tossing him down into the sheets. “Like this, you garula. Lay down. Don't be so stiff.” Noctis clings himself to Ignis with his leg and arm.

The blonde smiles and places his glasses on the bedside table, returning to interlock his own body with Noctis's. “You have such a way with getting me to relax.”

Along Ignis's neck, he can feel Noctis's cheeks shift with a smile. “Hardly. It's hard to make someone as uptight as you relax.”

“How rude,” Ignis says, grinning. “Yet, in spite of my inability to relax, you do enough for the two of us."

“Oh, low blow!” Noctis laughs and pushes out of his embrace, and Ignis clutches his hand as a response. Noctis holds the hand to his chest.

“I do mean it, though, Iggy.” He rolls over to lock eyes with Ignis. “About you needing to relax. Even now, I can tell you're still thinking. I'm never sure what about, with that big brain and all, but I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.” Ignis appreciates the gesture, but he couldn't possibly ruin the weekend by talking about Luna and his jealousy of her future position: getting to live openly beside the prince, holding his hands, being seen at meetings together at the head of the table, arm in arm-- married. His own absolute dream.

Noctis noses his way into the taller man's chest and places a kiss there, right above his heart.

It hurts _all_ of him.

Ignis wishes he could push the thoughts from his mind; wishes that kiss could will away the all the black feelings stowed in his heart.

_I’ll cannot have him. I'm temporary._

His chest aches. He breathes very deeply to try to prevent it. With eyes closed, he counts.

_1, 2, 3, 4--_

“Ignis?”

Eyes open now. He recognizes that he is shaking before he notices he is crying. His own hands come to wipe away his tears and mucus dripping from his nose. More hands on his back-- _Noctis_ , he thinks-- encouraging him to sit up. His breathing is short and pained, and he really wishes he could speak. Do anything.

He’s ruining this entire trip and they just arrived.

Noct is kneeling at his front and touching his face. Ignis is trying to focus on anything but the man in front of him. He is a disappointment, a failure, a nuisance-

Ignis attempts to apologize but his speech is clipped by his unsteady breaths.

“Shh, it's okay,” Noctis assures.

Before him is the most beautiful and compassionate man that he has ever had the pleasure to know, grasping his cheeks with his hands and making him look into his eyes. He's smiling gently.

“Look at me, Ignis. Is touch okay? Can I hold you?”

Ignis offers a frail nod. Noctis's cold fingers on his skin calm him.

“Good. Let's breathe together,” Noctis looks down and places Ignis's hand on his own arm, “If we need to stop, squeeze my arm twice, okay?”

They do breathe, right here on this ugly bed. Inhale and exhale, over and over. Ignis focuses on the expansion of his lungs and their collapse upon release. Noctis sets the pace.

When Ignis experiences a panic, he focuses on the tangible. Tangible steadies him. His own cheeks are tight with dried tears. Noctis is still in front of him. His cold fingers are a constant support alongside Ignis’s neck, and his thumbs gently brush his cheekbones. No thoughts, just observations of his surroundings.

After several minutes, he is still looking at his partner. They haven’t exchanged words in a while, only syncopated breaths.

Noct’s eyes are framed by those perfect heavy lashes. Ignis shifts his attention to the irises, a familiar and calming blue. The intimate moment reminds him of the first time he studied his partner’s gaze--

 

 

Their first kiss: inside the walls of Noct’s apartment, just after a rainy grocery run. The moment the door closed, the soaked bag of apples that Noctis held on the run back had given way. The fruit bounced off the flooring and rolled across the entryway.

“What luck,” Noctis had said, laugher pricking his words. Ignis had placed his own bags on the ground and began to pick up the lost fruit. He had successfully cradled all of them in his arms, then looked down, realizing his shoes were still on.

Noctis followed his downward gaze. “Forgetting something, Ignis?”

“Ah, yes. I was so preoccupied in gathering the apples that I-”

“Here. Let me-”

Noctis smiled, took a knee, and began unlacing. It was the most intimate and oddest experience the advisor had witnessed: a prince at his knee, helping him out of his shoes.

“Thank you, Noct,” he said, whisper-soft. The entire role reversal of care made the older man's cheeks flush. He stepped into his slippers, then went for the kitchen.

Following him in his own slippers, Noctis grabbed the remaining groceries and placed them on the counter next to the apples.

Ignis remembers adjusting the wet hair clinging to his forehead in this moment, and Noct rustling it. The blonde’s face burned and his body had stilled. He's not even sure if he was breathing.

“You look good like this, Specs,” Noctis had said. Ignis watched Noct’s eyes follow his traveling hand, from the crown of Ignis's head to his cheek.

“Oh-”

He remembers Noctis's sharp blue eyes looking to his mouth, head tilting, eyes shutting, and closing the distance.

Ignis was so surprised that he didn't close his own eyes.

It was just a press of the lips, but the pressure sent a wave of static through Ignis's core. It felt like every muscle and tendon in his body was pulled taut.

Noctis pulled away and smiled, but his eyes were panicked-- flicking back from his advisor’s eyes to his mouth. His expression faltered.

“Did I overstep?”

Noct’s uncertainty released all the tension in Ignis. The taller man lumbered forward and seized Noctis's lips in a kiss just as chaste as the first.

When they parted, the smile on Noct’s face erupted. His hands cupped either side of Iggy’s face and they smiled together. Noct’s deep blue eyes became a note of fondness for him after that.

 

 

Noct brushes the pad of his thumb under Ignis's left eye, pulling him out of memory.

“Can we talk about what thoughts hurt you, Specs?”

Ignis averts his gaze; finds one of the repulsive lamps beside the bed. He doesn’t want to answer. Yet, a coiling feeling at his gut insists that Noctis is owed one.

“No. Just dismiss it. I don’t want to ruin the night further,” Ignis answers a little harsher than he had expected and Noct drops the hold on his hands.

“You haven’t ruined anything, but I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” Noctis says with such confidence. It exudes leadership. Royalty. He faces away from Ignis and stretches.

“Let’s cook, Ignis. You’ll be too preoccupied making sure I don't ruin the recipe to be thinking about anything else.” Noct turns and delivers a small smile. His cold fingers curl around Ignis’s own, and he is tugged up from the bed.

 

* * *

 

 

They start by laying out the ingredients. Ignis had only purchased ingredients for one of the most difficult dishes in his black book-- breaded cutlet with tomato. He planned to gather more native ingredients for the latter part of the vacation, leaving them with only this recipe. Noctis had insisted that he help, much to the older man's chagrin.

“Noct, begin by boiling a pot of water,” Ignis shuffles through the cupboards for a suitable pan, and when he finds one, passes it to Noct. “This should suffice.”

“Hah, this will be easy.” Noct fills the pot up with water at the sink. Ignis is in the fridge, gathering ice into a large bowl.

“Not quite. I’ll get the ice bath going,” Ignis smiles. After filling up the basin with water and ice, the blonde pulls a red ribbon from his pocket, an item he uses, himself, when he cooks. He wraps his arms around Noct’s waist briefly before tying the ribbon around the prince's wrist.

“What-” Noctis pouts as his body takes the protection charm. “Really, Iggy? I don't need this.”

Ignis laughs, “I don't take chances. Once you bring the water to a boil, place the two tomatoes in the water. Safely.”

“I can't not be safe with this _thing_ around my arm.” Ignis doesn't have to see Noctis to know that he is rolling his eyes at the situation.

“Take comfort in knowing that I wear that same ribbon when making any dish for you.”

“Except for this one, huh?” After dropping the tomatoes in, Noctis fully turns his body to Ignis and props his hand on his hip. “So _you're_ being unsafe? Because of me? Ignis, no. You always sacrifice things in my name, even at the expense of yourself."

The words that Noct said are so unexpected, that Ignis hesitates in his response: “This is my duty, Noct. To protect you.”

“Bullshit,” Noctis slides the ribbon out of the bow on his arm and clutches it in his hand. “I understand that you need to keep me safe, but you matter, too. I'm gonna do everything in my power to protect you and everyone else around me.”

“Noct-” Ignis knows this is about more than the ribbon.

Noct drops the red silk on the counter and transfers the peeling tomatoes from the pot to the ice water.

“You need someone looking out for you, too,” He grumbles from above the bowl. He plucks the rest of the skin from the tomatoes, then places them back into the pan-- sans water-- and adds oil. “Like the panic attack earlier. Just let me in, Ignis. Please?”

Ignis begins making the seasoned flour base for the portioned anak meat they had gotten from the store. He falls silent and lets his whisking hands talk in his place. Once the base is well mixed, he clears his throat.

“It was idiotic, the whole reason I had the attack.”

Ignis glances at Noct for a moment. He's focused on the sauce and placing the proportioned seasonings inside.

“Could you tell me the reason?”

Ignis knows this will be easier to say when he isn't looking at Noctis, so he answers honestly: “Yes. ”

“Marriage,” he continues. “Noct, I'm never… we can't be together. I love you and want to be yours-- to care for you when you are sick, to hold your hand in front of others, to watch you succeed and grow old and-” He pauses. He doesn't have the courage to look Noct in the eye when he admits this. “Luna will be that for you soon. Once you leave for Altissia, you will marry her. I… don't know if I'm ready to lose you.”

Ignis's jealousy morphs into a feeling of guilt. Noct can't help any of this that will happen. His hands tense above the bowl of flour. He doesn't relax until Noct’s hands are around his midsection, then the taller man turns and holds Noct’s shoulders tight.

“You will not lose me, even when I am married to Luna. We’re just friends, and the marriage is purely political.” Noct drops his hands to hold Ignis's. “As for us, our relationship will be known across both royal families. I want to be able to hold your hand in our own homes. We can start before the marriage, even, and tell my father.”

“Your father? You’re certain?” Ignis asks. “We’ve kept this secret from him for more than two years.”

“We have to start somewhere, don't we?” Noct smiles, looking up and parting from him.

He swipes the red silk ribbon from the counter, then a serrated knife. He folds the strip, then pulls the knife through the crease until it cuts through, splitting it into two.

He places one section in Ignis’s right hand, then shifts his attention to his left. He steadies the ribbon underneath Ignis's ring finger, then ties it in a tight bow.

“When Niflheim falls, Luna and I will disband and our countries will be on good terms. And, surrounded by the successes of our country, I will ask for your hand.” Noct rubs the top of Ignis's finger and presses the pad of his thumb into the knot, right where an actual ring would be. “Are you willing to wait for me?”

“I will remain with you to the very end, Noct, no matter the wait.” He ties the second ribbon around Noctis’s left ring finger, and kisses the bow.

 


End file.
